Category: Dating and Relationships
Dig deep please give me more than just, "I haven't found the right one." Sometimes its not them but you that is the problem. I think I'm single because nobody wants me. My confidence level isn't so great, so why would anyone? Now its your turn. Tell me.
On thinking about it, I realize there's more to my reason than I mentioned. There are guys who claim to want me and all that but I'm not attracted to/don't trust them because they're either some weird fetishist, clingy desperate or he-whores.
I have high standards, actually expect a girl to be somewhat intelligent,
I'm really picky, and tend to run the girls that are interested in me off because of that.
chippie:
Having self confidence and believing in yourself is really important. I know it sounds like something from a textbook, but it is true. If you don't care about yourself, how can you expect others to do the same. This is coming from some one who has learned that lesson the hard way. Also, as you mentioned, mutual attraction is always a good thing. Yes, just because someone is interested in you doesn't necessarily mean you are interested in them. Has to be chemistry on both ends. So, my advice, believe in yourself, be yourself and things will happen.
1) Because I refuse to date within the blind/VI community.
2) Most fully sighted men that I'm attracted to are more outdoorsy or physically active than my body will allow me to be.
3) Despite having a petite build, I don't have huge boobs, nor do I have what society would consider a pretty face, what with the oddly shaped nose and the eye twitching and all.
4) I'm picky and won't put up with a guy who isn't intellectually, physically, economically or emotionally mature.
Thanks for being so honest miss m.
Miss M, I know this is a whole other debate in itself, but why do you limit yourself to just dating sighted people?
Was wondering the same thing.
Miss M, I just want to let you know that you most definitely don't have to have huge boobs to be attractive or even slightly appealing. My breasts are also very small, and I am petite too, and I am often told that I have an amazing figure, I'm beautiful, and so on.
Please do not think that a large amount of cleavage is one of the keys to scoring a significant other. Some guys aren't boob guys; and on top of that, not all men are attracted to huge breasts.
Go M! That's one of my picky things. I don't date in the VI community at *all*!
Also, I will not hook up with a girl I know only over the Internet.
Essence, I know it's not all about the boobs and whatnot, but it tends not to hinder a girl's chances, haha.
For those of you who are curious, it's been a matter of multiple years of experience. All of the blind/VI guys I have met, with the exception of those who have lost their sight much later in life (see: teenage years and onward) have had laundry lists of problems ranging from not knowing how to take care of their own hygiene, to drug problems, to severe emotional or mental handicaps due to being overly sheltered for far too long.
OK well of course it's your call, but heaps of sighties have drug problems too, and hygiene ones also for that matter. The amount of cabs I get into where the driver has B.O is disgusting! It's all individual really. But i am interested in this, so feel free to share your experiences. I for one don't judge; I'm just curious.
To post 12, I understand that a person's experiences play a major role in their beliefs, but I think that your automatic dismissal of an entire group of people as datable based on experience is narrow and kind of shallow. I know plenty of people who meet the low expectations you site and don't have any vision problems.
Regarding your last reason in post 6, it's been my own experience that too many women seek the perfect guy who can live up to everything they wanted. Ultimately, they are disappointed for a variety of reasons when they ultimately can't find him or find him and realize he's not everything they wanted. But this isn't just a problem with women: men often set incredibly high expectations and standards concerning dating and are never satisfied. Sometimes I feel like people set unrealistically high expectations when it comes to the opposite sex. At the same time, maybe the fact that people can't find someone who meets their expectations reflects poorly on the declining standards of our society.
But hey: we all have expectations. If those are yours and you find someone who meets them, all the more power to you. Just don't hold your breath. I'm not trying to put down other men, but I don't know tons of men who are truly and completely mature in all aspects of life. Maybe, just maybe, that's the real problem in itself. *shrugs*
Brice
Thank you post 14... that's more or less what I think. Of course everyone has certain aspects about a person that would turn them off, but it does seem to me to be something of a generalisation to refuse to date any blind person just because of some of those reasons. Everyone is entitled to make that decision but I just think that you can end up missing out on something great if you limit yourself in that way. To answer the actual question, I was single for a long time because I wasn't happy with things in my life and certain aspects of my own character, and I felt that I ought to sort my own shit out before sharing it with someone else.
I agree with the confidence thing 100%. I'd want it that way too. Now I've seen relationships where one is totally not confident. I'm not gonna say they worked out fine cause I don't talk to them much anymore. Then there are those who are in the same boat. Not sure what to think of that. About dating someone who is different, I know black guys who won't go out with black girls, broke girls who will not go out with broke guys, fat people who don't want to date anyone fat, so on and so forth. Its absolutely possible to get what you want, as far as certain things are concerned, in my opinion. Take the 60 something butt ugly billionaire. You think he's gonna marry little miss homely? Hell no! He's got 19 year-old beauty queen for a wife. She's broke though, and she never wanted to date anyone without money. Problem solved! Of course I agree that people aren't perfect and we shouldn't be so damn picky. I believe however, that we should try to get what we want before settling for whatever's there. Moreover if someone's going to want those things, I wouldn't waste my time trying to change their mind. Lettem be. I'll just go find someone whose on my page and let them find someone whose on theirs.
I'm certainly not advocating you just "settle" for anyone If it's not what you want. There are few things worse than fake relationships based on little passion or unhappy feelings, in my opinion.
I'm saying that way too many people seem to hold unrealistic expectationss about dating and qualities in the opposite sex. These people iether remain constantly unhappy and restless in their search for the perfect man or woman or end up finding what they think they wanted only to realize they were searching for all the wrong things.
Brice
Oh man can I identify with the last thing you said! How disappointing it is when you think you've arrived to find no land of milk and honey! Another mistake I've made is seeing potential in someone who was surprisingly the total oposit of what I wanted. I hope to be a better judge of character next time.
If I find a blind or VI man who has a job that allows him to support himself, doesn't live with or depend fully on his parents or a similar caretaker to accomplish household tasks, has a circle of genuine friends in the real world and shares some physical and intellectual chemistry with me, then I'd give him a shot. But I've yet to meet any man in the blind/VI community who fits all these thoughts, while I have met and enjoyed the company of several in the sighted world. That said, I've made friends with a lot of wonderful and fascinating men on here - I just wouldn't date them (nor would I assume they'd want to date me, hehe).
But agreed, confidence is key. It doesn't matter how you look or what you do in life, if you feel comfortable in your skin and in your decisions people with automatically take notice. People like people who like themselves, because really, how can anyone else love you if you can't? After all, you're the one who spends the most time with yourself.
Well, if the blind/VI people you are dealing with are on here, most people who spend hours on this website have no life, so it's really no surprise. If you seriously think most blind/vi men just live at home and collect off the governement, then you are just meeting the lazy douchebags who refuse to do nothing with their lives. I can't help you there either. But believe it or not, some of us actually are fairly mentally healthy and have a thing or 2 going for us.
Miss M, it sounds like you've just had the misfortune of meeting the wrong types of blind guys. I too, think it's a mistake to exclude an entire group of people from your options, but it's your call. I have blind friends who are equally against dating someone sighted, and I think they, too, are making a mistake. There is a whole board topic, titled,
Does It Matter," or something to that effect, which covers this.
I've always felt I'll date who I'm attracted to, blind or sighted, black or white, etc. But, like everyone, I do have my own standards, which some would say exclude a whole group of people. For example, I have to be with someone who at least has a similar faith as I do. They need not believe the exact same things I do, but my faith is important to me, and something I need to be able to share and connect with my partner on. So, I guess we all have our own little quirks.
i'm on the same page on post 20 and 21 regarding dating and general blind/vi community. its the pety Miss M, with your experience. there're lots of educated, self support, great employment, blind/vi people out there, who need no support from either the government or family. they are capable of taking care themselves and their partner without any problem at all. its sad to think that blind/vi people ourselves as someone as describe on one of your post. cause, don't forget, when we judging our own people, others judging us with the same thing too. try to eliminate the steriotype you have against blind/vi people. i'm not saying that you need to date a blind/vi person, thats absolutely your personal choice. however, when love come across you, even with someone who might have multiple disability, don't shut or limited yourself from it.
as to why being single, some being single just because they are tired of the anergy involve in the mentality work of dating. date require lots of mentality work... and cause of that, sometime, might be better off to be single than in a relationship.
and i agree with the whole confident thing. some people over confident on themselves which can cause troubles for their relationship, and some, the other way round, lack of confident, which can be a major problem too. i guess, the key for everything is the belance between two people, regardless of everything.
Cuz i'm extremely selfish and I don't know what I want. Selfish meaning like season says dating takes energy. You're not just focused on your own wants and needs.
agree with post 23. some people simply can't have a successful relationship because they are too selfish to gift and, also, take. (no offence). and that is what i mean by dating energy, as to many other things too. some people just can focus on their own and own problems, simply give up their relationship when they think they have enough.
also, some people which is another way round, be too selfless. selfless to take care of their own emotion, only bother to taking care of others... always hurting themselves...
I guess my question for Miss M is, how about you? Are you supporting yourself? Are you doing what it is that you seak in a partner?
Sorry to the original poster, I think I might have distracted your topic a little bit.
I'm in the process. At 20 I'm a junior in college with plans to go out of state for my Master's Degree, living in a single-person dorm room during semesters, and learning to better work a stove and cook various foods when I'm not in school. Also saving money and have previously worked as an intern in an office setting, and planning to get a credit card this week so that when I purchase groceries I can better my credit score.
The OP asked us to answer, honestly, why we were single, and I listed many reasons - none of them are very flattering I'm afraid. But the truth is not always complimentary to oneself or others, and I prefer it that way.
Yes everyone please get off her back. If that's what she wants that's what she wants. Now is there anyone who would like to share why they think they still haven't found that special someone yet?
I have a few reasons.
I'm picky.
I won't take shit.
I can be very closed up it takes time for me to open up.
Also, noone can handle me lol :P
Chippie, No-one is on her back. I stated in my previous post that I was simply curious and that's how I've seen other posters. There's nothing wrong with asking questions.
Alysha (apologies if I've spelt your name wrong), just on your post, after my previous relationship I told myself that, though I can't limit myself, I'd prefer not to date another blindy as the community is so small, and one can get into trouble so easily with rumours, gossip etc, but well, I am currently with another blind person and it's going well so far.
Now slightly on Miss M's track, he is even slightly more independent than I am, but he's eight years my seniour and has lived out of home for far far longer than I have. Still, i am learning from him and will only continue to do so as I'm about to move in with him. :)
i'm single because i just don't want a relationship in the couple sense at the moment. i'm happy living on my own. i need my space.
With all those animals, right Martin? Lol Lol; *smile*
Lol that was horrible!
hehehehe rachel. roarhrhrhrhr. hehehe
you may as well be married to the animals Martin; hahaha. I'm not being perverted; I'm just giving him a hard time. had to clear that up before people jump on me; lol.
ok rachel, whatever you want to believe, *smile*
lol actually, my comments weren't meant to be perverted either; just simply saying that he lives with all his animals, Lol!
I know Rachel; just had to add to what you said.
Life is going well for me at this time. I will eventually find someone to share things with, or they will find me. I believe that I have a lot to offer, intend to end up with someone who feels similarly, and have little doubt that this will happen. I guess it boils down to being single because I haven't met someone new and compatible at the right time and the right place.
just not the right ttime, right place, or right person
If I do end up single very soon, this will be why, and no, it actually has nothing to do with distance:
The thing that would end this relationship would be a failure to communicate on the other's part, or to recognize, by actions rather than words, that I have put everything in to making communication possible. I sort of feel slighted, because it seems like my effort, time and money means nothing, and I've pointed out that I could fail to communicate and give him a million reasons why, and tell him that I'm trying, but if I don't give a visible sign of progress, then I can't be trying too hard, can I?
Every time I end up single, I end up revising the reasons why that aren't related to the previous relationship, and revising my standards. Like, here goes:
Lots of communication is absolutely essential. If I can't speak to whoever I'm with once a day, unless you're dying, or it's snowed ten feet, or you've had a massive natural disaster, or some other reason why there is absolutely no possibility that you could even speak to me for a moment--or even leave me a VM--we're going to have problems. We both have to uphold the relationship, we both have to make an effort, we both have to be supportive, just basic relationship stuff.
The other person has to be intelligent, with a good personality. They can't be overly clingy and spastic, can't have strange fetishes, can't spastically obsess over things, can't be controlling, have to be mature like M said (God forbid I'm with some little spaz attack like that worthless idiot who kept following me around like a puppy), have to be clean and at least somewhat tidy (I'm not the most orderly person in the world, so I can't be hypocritical here, but have to be ceanly and would only expect it of someone that close to me), absolutely have to uphold their end of the relationship, can't be dependent on me for every little thing (though I do understand supporting each other, I mean don't run to me heartbroken every time someone calls you a name sort of thing; I won't do that to anyone either), has to be open-minded and accepting (like under no circumstances torture some poor person like Autistic Furball, she can't help what she is), and preferably be musically inclined. Yes, I do have high standards, apparently, though I'd think most of this should just be expected, but hey, with the standards relationships have gone to... People are like: Is he good in bed? omg now I'm in luuuuuuv. ick, Jesus H...
I dont take shit from no one, I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and have yet to master skills of dealing with stress. Also i had three prior boyfriends one of whom lived with me and i was engaged too. I had to do everything for him, hell he didn't even know his own medical history, had to write down his parents phone number. we wont even discuss all the doctors appointments i had to make because he couldnt remember an address. hung up on the ride people instead of asking the address. was 29 when i moved out of my apartment i had been living in for a year, moved down three floors, and then a month later after i wouldnt feed him and wouldnt let him sleep at my house and practically live with me he went back home to mommy and daddy he was supposed to visit for a week that was the seventeenth of may he told me if he went back home he would commit suicide with some gun he had gotten ahold of . well, i think he knew the suicide bit would get to me, because he seemed to have some medical issues seasures and the like but they seemed to only come when he wasnt the center of attention, got the er visits. so i told him to get a job give him somethin to do and it would help he claimed to have chest pains and faked a collapse in the walmart, the day before he was supposed to go to work. then he hit me. then there was the time this guy called a cab after i went to the hospital feelin like shit migraine and back pain so the cab didnt come in five minutes, he goes up to the house and calls nine one one and threatens to kill himself. he shows at the hospital in cuffs. i nailed his ass right there. then the next guy had a temper, got pissed because said x decided he didnt give a shit the hell i went through he was going back to mommy then tried to tell me it was all about me, well i wasnt in the best of shape anyhow, i took some pills, so new boyfriend takes a comp apart puts a magnet in it and says that he did it because he was pissed. fuck
are you all fuckin nuts?
so the next one was seventeen, i think he had an infatuation for me, so i rode that one out.
I am goin down the lemme try the non-disabled community. trying to get into dialectical behavioral therapy for the borderline and unfortunately when you are on most meds for bipolar you gain a lot of weight. I have issues with pain but am workin on it slowly but surely oh and i am back to trying to quit smoking. i want to improve my life, its just very difficult right now. Trying to move to for dbt. columbia has it to where medicaid will fund it but kansas city wont, hell missouri medicaid wont even cover dental. I also have to handle some other stuff i was sexually assaulted a few years ago, and i really never dealt with it, i just went out and found the nearest bf i could not the way to go. i hate myself sometimes, what i do to myself i just dont know. for once, i want someone to think of me as a person not some object. not a handy gf one they can pull off the shelf. not as that poor fat pethetic blind chick i think i will fake being her mr. right i will treat her like shit. I cant fucking deal with that anymore.
Yeah. If nothing else some damn respect would be nice. I've always heard communication is key in relationships.
I think the 2 main thing you need to have in a relationship are trust and communication. I'm single because I haven't really been looking because if true love is ment to find me, then it will. I have standards, but I'm willing to compromise on some things, but the 3 things I won't stand for is lying, cheating, and abuse. I won't tollerate control either. In a relationship, both people need to work together on issues. It should be 100 100, not 90 10.
Jenni, it sounds like you've been through some really really bad times. I do wish you the best of luck with finding someone else who will love and appreciate you as you deserve. And also best of luck with getting the medical help you need; <3
I am single because I am sort of a control freak, am over weight, an just personally want to be for a few years after my last relationships of 2 years ended.
Jessica and others:
Its perfectly ok to be single because you want to be and if you need time to recover from a past relationship. Do not, however, think that you are single just because you are over weight. First of all, a lot of people who believe themselves to be over weight really are not. Second of all, in a real relationship, physical appearance shouldn't play that big of a role. Yes, you may have a few extra pounds, but it is what is inside your head and heart that really counts in a relationship. Don't be to hard on yourself and look at people for who they are inside, not based on what they are wearing physically.
Hope this makes sense.
firstly, I'm finding it hard to find real friends offline, secondly I was upset to lose someone, thirdly I don't want to be part of the happy big blind merry go round dating scene - that's my honest answer
Too much variety, too little time.
I'm not scared of commitment, I just don't choose it.
Well with the advert you just put up here dusty, you'll be right as rain in no time! :) Lol
And incase you guys are wondering what's with all the posts from me with nothing to add, it's because I simply have nothing to add as I'm no longer single!
But previously, It was simply because I hadn't met the right guy yet I guess. I was always told it comes along when one is least expecting it!
But since I first read Dusty's advert just before, I think i'll be dumping my boyfriend; right Dusty? Lol Lol! :) hahahaha!
Bring it on sweetcakes, I'll warm up the massage oil.
I'll bring the candles; ah wait, we can't see; what's it matter? :)
first, i have in the past dated guys on here, and i regret all of them, but one. this person and i are still friends, but never again will i date someone from here, if i can help it. yes, we are attracted to who we are attracted to, that is unavoidable, but limiting to a certain set of people just makes it harder. personally, i don't care if the guy is blind, vi, sighted, black, white...etc, but, (first reason why i'm single), he needs to be able to keep himself respectable, and be able to depend mostly on himself, not mummy and daddy. okay, now the rest of the reasons why i'm single. lol
2, i hate lying cheating men.
3, i'm guarded. meaning, that after some bad experiences in the past, i'm more unwilling to let people get close to me, because i think that they, (men in this case), are only out to hurt me, unless they proove otherwise, and even then it's still in the back of my mind.
4, most of the guys around where i live are, married, taken or gay...hell most of the guys i like are taken anyway.
5, i don't think i'm pretty at all, and don't really kno how to take compliments like, "your pretty" or anything along thoes lines.
Amen maroon, to almost all of that idea.
But as for #5, I'm telling you - just assume your awesome and beautiful. If you look like you know what you're doing, everyone else will think you do by default.
i think number 5 is mostly a result of all the bad experiences i've had in the past. "your pretty" from a lyer or cheater loses it's meaning after a while, because in the end he was just saying it for effect, or because he wanted something. so i tend to not believe anyone, (including my own family sadly) when they compliment me. i mostly see it as a joke now, wich is sad, cause i do want to believe the compliments, but i just don't or can't. yes, i do kno that some people don't just say things just for the hell of it, and do actually mean what they say, but i guess something in my brain just automatically thinks otherwise, due to being hurt so much.
Hey! I thought we were supposed to be honest on this board! So far, I haven't read anybody being honest!
Well, I'm single because I smell, don't know how to take care of myself, and because I am blind. But more importantly, I have a small penis that girls find unattractive! Don't girls always say that it's not about how a guy looks but the way he treats them? Well, I haven't seen any evidence to back up their claim! I guess girls are just as shallow as guys are. The difference being, guys are too nice and polite to point out the faults of girls.
Um, OK? :)
Wow, Smoky. Yeah, guys and girls can both be shallow, it is true. But usually, both are pretty good at pointing out the faults of the other gender. So, guys definitely do not have an edge on being, "Nice and polite," that's for sure.
Little Smoky has a point. Fine. Here are more reasons why. I don't go anywhere or even bother making an effort to do anything nice with my hair. Always have it in one and that's it. I'm fat ( have a gut), have dark marks all over my arms and legs and i can't seem to be attracted to guys who will treat me well. When I feel that, I get worried, because I just know that's the begining and the end of what I'll like about him. I don't like being single, but like most other things I want, I'm not gonna try as hard for it like I use to before.
Wow, this is an interesting board. Ok, why am I single?
Along with being blind, I'm also legally deaf. As much as I'd really enjoy being able to go out and mingle with a crowd and just have a good time, it's practically an impossibility. Even if I'm in such a small space as an elevator, I have trouble hearing, and if there's any echo in the room at all, forget it. If I'm standing outside, waiting on a cab, and someone 10 feet away speaks to me, I'll probably never even know that they spoke, so most people just think I'm rude and distant. It doesn't exactly make people fall all over me, and I end up feeling stupid and useless because I can't see or hear well enough to function, so I usually don't bother anymore. at least on the net, I can turn my speech up as loud as it needs to be, so I feel that I can come in to a chatroom and actually participate. As far as the job goes, I wish I had one. The extra income would be great, and getting out and meeting people would be fun as well, but my lack of hearing also makes it pretty difficult to go to job interviews and the likes. Before my hearing got quite so bad, I did have a job. It was only at a sheltered workshop, but I am very quick with my hands, and was piece rated, so I was making over 100 dollars a day most of the time, and the overtime was good as well, so I figured I had it decent enough. That job ran out though, or at least all the good paying contracts were lost, so I left. I was mainly a sewing machine or bartack opporator, and eventually learned more about fixing and maintaining the machines than some of the maintanence men knew how to do, so I do miss the job. but anyway, back to my reasons for being single... I'm pretty open sexually, and have no problems talking about what I like or dislike, and some people can't handle that. After being burned a few times, I'm afraid to trust, for fear of being played yet again. There have been people that I was attracted to who didn't feel the attraction, and vice versa. Also, i'm quiet and shy around strangers, taking my time, feeling them out and learning what I can before I'm comfortable enough to open up on a deeply personal level, so there have been times when someone decided I wasn't interesting or talkative enough and moved on before I felt comfortable enough to open up. If there's one thing I absolutely hate, it's when a total stranger comes up to me and tries to act as though they've known me all their life. Not sure why that bugs me so much, but it sure does. Ok, LOL This seems more of a rambling session than anything really constructive, so I'll close now.
Keep the posts coming. I'm enjoying this board.
I guess another reason why I'm single is because I try to hump anything I can get my hands on, girls, monkeys, guerrillas, sofas, my hands, flower pots, pretty much anything. And for some reasons, girls find this unattractive. Why? I ask you, why? Is it unhealthy to be sexually active?
Lol now you know you wouldn't want a girl if she told you she likes to hump her pet goldfish.
Good on you, Anthony, that was an excellent post. I do hope you find yourself a lady and a career again someday.
So here's a question for all of you. Would you date yourself if you found yourself in the oposit sex? or if you're glb, would you date yourself? I can say confidently that I absolutely would! It'd be awesome too *hugs myself*
Hmm. could make for a good topic. Someone, post it!
This is a really interesting question. To answer it, I think so, but I'm not absolutely certain. Never quite thought of it in that light.
I haven't either. maybe I would; probably not in the past, but maybe now i would.
wow, this is an interesting board, and the honesty is very refreshing. Personally, I'd date myself now, but perhaps, not in the past. As Far as being hurt is concerned, one must not be afraid to roll the dice. You never know who may hold the blessing in there hands that was ment just for you.
My life has been truely blessed because I took the risk, and rolled the dice.
For all on this board who are still searching for there prince/princes, keep the faith, and don't lose heart.
Someone once told me, every pot has it's lid, and I tend to believe this very thing.
What if the lid got melted down into scrapmetal?
hmm, would i date myself if it were a man no, i would kill him before the first date were done, i need someone with logic and who is rational to balance me out a bit. It's hard for me because i talk not enough or too much its all extremes with me, i am quite lonely lately so have been on dating sites, but i am sorry living on a sale boat no this guy wants to apparently retire at 35 and live on a sale boat the rest of his life. sorry, i require internet and dry land. thats just me though. i got several questions answered on okcupid the id there is lights_rage. so feel free to look me up
Like Jak, If I am ever single again, I will avoid the happy big blind merry go round dating scene.
If you're in that scene, there are people waiting for your relationship to fail because the person you're with didn't like them, or wanting to know all about your relationship so they can tell all their other blind friends who want to know even if they hardly ever talk to you, they want to know more about the person than theyneed to such as whether the person has a job, just so they can tell all the other blind people who don't even have much to do with that person but will want to suck up to him/her if the person is more successful or popular than they are, etc.
Blind people who aren't on the happy big blind merry go round dating scene are a lot better for it.
Another reason why I'm single, I can't seem to get off this god forsaken website long enough to actually meet live human being. I would date the community leaders and hump them, but they don't seem to like that. Hmmm
Lol! Was browsing through the singles' spit swap board and from the sounds of it, there are alot of people in need of a good hump or 60. They're oh so humpable! Humpty dumpty! No one will date or hump me because they're not strong enough to lift my pouch off my...well, you know.
Why am I single? Just because I felt like it. I would rather be single than be in a crappy relationship, be disrespected and feel sad about it. There's more to life than being in a relationship. Honestly, I'm more happier now than before. I love where I am right now and the things I have accomplished. I wouldn't trade it just for anyone or should I say I will never settle for second best. If he wants me to be perfect he better be perfect too.
Well Why am I single, Interesting board here. I've never dated a blind person before, but have had sighted girlfriends, I think my job might get in the way sometimes, I'm a full time musician and I sometimes let that take presedence. I used to have problems with my confidence as well, because I was dating a woman who told me she wanted to get married and have my children, turns out it was a lie. That kind of slowed me down for a while and I didn't trust or couldn't trust anyone those feelings are fading now, and I realize she wasn't the girl for me. I get told a lot that I'm hansome so I don't think that has any thing to do with it, I guess I've just not been in the right place at the right time yet. I'm trying not to worry about it to much because I believe in carma and I think if you try to do good things good will come back to you. Verry interesting board thoe, its great to hear from other blind folks about why they think there single. I'm just waiting for the right woman to come along, I want to have a family and I don't think you go in to dating someone lightly when your having thoughts like that. I'm just playing and recording my music, and I'm not super religis but I think in time god has a plan for me.
I totally agree with post 71. I'm sure sighted people start a lot of drama too concerning their friends in relationships, but there is a lot of bitter competition when blindness gets involved. I guess it's due to the fact that a lot of blind people have so many insecurities. I don't know, and I'm not single, but I'll tell you something, people I went to high school with still find it necessary to talk all kinds of shit on me and say I turned my boyfriend into a horrible person. These people are blind, and so I really relate to what you said.
Oh hells no I wouldn't date myself, in the same or opposite sex. I can be such an insecure, paranoid spaz sometimes! I don't know why anyone would date me in the first place! lol
I think being single is fun just because I can flirt with whomever I choose. I'm sure being single after a time can get quite lonely.
If I found a guy with my personality, I'd totally date him! Dating another introvert would be great, just because we would have more of the same common interests and hobbies. I would never get bored! That would truly be a blessing.
Ah, I'd totally date myself, provided I had the same personality as a girl. I could let my mind wonder off in all my strangely related tangents, I'd be the challenge I seek, sexually/sensually driven, then I could bring it back at the end of the day and have a deep conversation over a beer. All of this without any pressures, and with our own space as needed. Not that my current or past relationships don't provide these things, just not all in one package, haha.
On a more, ehem, serious note, I guess I am single for many reasons. One of them is I'm not looking at the moment. Another is that no woman seems to want me. Perhaps that is because they're ignorant fools...who knows.
Well I am single because I am so so pickey. In counsiling to end my marriage my friend told me to have a list. In this list it is 150 good qualities. From my failed marriage I put somethings to help the next person I am with. NO NO a man will not have to match all but most would be great. Simple list but I am pickey.
Wow, a list of 150 good qualities you want to find in a mate? Good luck in finding that special someone as most of us hardly ever live up to the standards of perfection.
You never know. 2 thirds of that list might be things most people would expect. Like he must brush his teeth, be nonviolent or farts not in public.
Well sorry I fart in public. I dare you to find someone who doesn't.
I was married for a time, so know what it's like. I now really enjoy being single. I go as I please, I can date different people and enjoy variety for a while. So maybe that is odd? I'm not looking for miss right, I'll find her when it naturally falls together. Until then I'm okay with myself, and happy with me. Smile.
Good for you. Variety is the spice of life.
Maybe! hahaha I enjoyed marage, and would love it again, but it must be natural not something I am trying to make fit, so until then...
Just stumbled onto this board and am randomly feeling like posting for whatever reason.
One of the main reasons I'm single is that I'm not exactly looking right now. I'm trying to get a lot of things together like getting through college, trying to decide what I want to do with my life and eventually being able to fully support myself.
I'm also not much of a people person. I like my time, I like my space, and people that don't let me have my time and space annoy me. LOL, I wouldn't mind dating someone, but at the same time at least right now I think someone that wanted to spend lots of time with me and do things every day and stuff would drive me up the wall because right now I really like having alone time.
There are probably more reasons, but that's the basics really. If something happens and turns out well then great, but yeah.
Ah understandable. I'm sure we all have times when we just want our space. People just need to respect other people's space.
Yeah, the last guy I was sort of dating just wanted to be around me all the time and help me with everything and do things every day. The funny thing was before him I used to think damn, wouldn't it be great if I could find someone like that? Now I'm not so sure. I think I might end up hurting them; I really like my space probably too much sometimes. LOL
Well nothing wrong with space.
Alot of the times I wish I could skip the dating process and just be at that place where I'm use to him, he's use to me and of course, that things are going good. Cause it only feels good until the arguments start. That's probably another reason why I'm single. Whenever I think of doing it all over again I get a headache.
Dating might not be the easiest thing in the world, but it sure is a lot of fun. Getting to know the person/people you're dating is part of the excitement.